December 9 Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you?

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I remember seeing the number that day come across on my caller ID. A 312 number. A Chicago number. But it was opening day of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament (my favorite holiday) and an hour before my friend Brooke left after visiting for a few days and the second to last day of my furlough week, and I was not about to answer that phone.

Until it rang again. And I knew.

Hey Laura, it’s Karen. Listen, you’re aware of the position our organization is in. This is extremely difficult for me to do but——————————————

I’m not sure when my ears stopped ringing. I had to get off of the phone before she heard me cry. I had to e-mail HR to find out what my severance even was. I had to e-mail them an hour later to find out about COBRA. It took everything I had not to call my HR rep a bitch as I signed off…but I knew it wasn’t her fault. I just wanted to take it out on someone.

So Brooke left. And I cried, and watched basketball. My mother told me that everything woud be okay and I pretended to believe her to get her off of the phone. My friend Chris brought me ice cream. I wanted to die.

This lay-off had been coming for three weeks; I knew this because of an unfortunate statement made by our CEO during a conference call. I knew my position would be eliminated, although I was already doing the work of two people and staying until 7 pm every night. But I still hoped I could convince them to keep me. I did extra work. I worked at night, at home. I worked on the subway in the morning on the way to work. But it didn’t work. And for a long time, I thought it was me.

No, it was them. I know that now.

The next day, I woke up with a very good, hopeful attitude (uncharacteristic of me). I watched KU play in their first round and then drove off to the unemployment office. It took about two hours and wasn’t a totally unpleasant experience. I remember tweeting about it and my friend Joel replied with something like, “I am impressed with the way you are taking this layoff. I certainly didn’t react this way when it happened to me.”

I was impressed with myself too. I thought losing my job would be like a really bad break-up, that it would take time for me to get over it and return to normal. It didn’t really hurt that bad. Sure, it was a shot to the ego and definitely a pain in the pocketbook (ouch). But planning ahead (my mom talked me into applying for jobs the day I heard the CEO’s message loud and clear), knowing ahead of time (as crappy as it was), having great support and (completely out of nowhere) having a good attitude made it a little easier. It was definitely a challenge, and it was the best challenge for me in 2009 because of the way I handled it and the end result (I was hired at Green City Market exactly three weeks after losing my job).

I’m your you.

My cat and I need to lose some weight.

I feel lonely sometimes but not all the time, which means I have made progress.

I tried to look up some Lost theories today and got more confused. This show makes no sense.

What else have I done this week? Watched Sophie Scholl’s The Final Days (holy crap, you must watch it), studied for the LSAT, cleaned out half my room, took two showers, watched Sopranos, StumbleUpon participation without voting on whether or not I liked the site, read about possible hiring possibilities for Kentucky’s new coach (because Billy G is so fired), watched Strangers with Candy episodes on Hulu, applied for jobs and continued to re-read No Country for Old Men.

I really need to learn Spanish.

I got a call back from the place where I interviewed last week and they asked me for a second interview. I am very excited— I would really really love this job and I would feel that way even if I didn’t want/need a new job.

I saw a cat get hit by a car. It was sad but I didn’t cry. I think the only reason I didn’t cry was because someone I know put his thirteen-year-old dog to sleep today and I cried about it while watching Sopranos and I think I had reached my crying threshold for the day.

You know what? I want a Wii.