I’ve already posted this photo once on here:

That’s from my grandma’s after funeral party (because she was big into parties). Anyway, Sandra Bullock was on Jay Leno last week and spent a large segment talking about MeeMaw (her Aunt Luddy) and White Trash. Here’s the clip.

I swore back in August (or was it September?) that I wouldn’t make this blog about my dead grandmother.

Well…tough. One more post. You can take it.

Today, I was scrolling down my cell’s phonebook to retrieve Mark’s number for a vendor when I came across this: “MeeMaw- 205-980-3493.”

Not the first time I’ve seen it since August 10th. It gives me chills every time I see it. And yet, I can’t bring myself to delete it.

That number hasn’t even worked for her since she moved into her “assisted living facility” well over a year ago (she was a popular woman, so I often wonder about the poor soul who has this number now and probably also has this line on his or her answering machine: “And if you’re looking for Luddy/Mary Lou, SHE’S NOT HERE!”). The other number I have for her is written down on a piece of paper with her name crossed out, BUS (my step-grandpa’s name) written in its place, and sits on my chest of drawers. I look at it every now and then and say, “DAMMIT I have to call him!” (I am a terrible person and haven’t called him since August. Thinking about it makes me cry.)

But I can’t delete this number. And so it will sit. Sit in my phonebook until I lose or destroy my SIM Card.

Or maybe when I realize that having her old number in my phonebook is not going to bring her back.